I don’t know what my deal is lately. I feel like things around me are moving at light-speed, yet I’m standing still in the middle of all the chaos. I can’t seem to get anything accomplished.
My house is in serious need of a deep cleaning. I have dishes to wash, laundry to do, floors to sweep, furniture to dust… the list is ridiculous. I just keep putting it off. And you know what? I feel severely unmotivated.
Then there is the whole Christmas shopping thing. I haven’t started. Not so much as a single gift has been purchased. I have a vague idea of what I’m going to get everyone, but I’ve made no move to actually do so. I don’t even own wrapping paper. Or tape. Or bows. I should probably get on that.
I don’t know where the year went. There were things I wanted to accomplish this year that I never got around to. To my credit, I did finally graduate, finish an internship and get a big-girl job. I guess that counts for something.
And there’s always next year. (Which is freakishly close.)
I’ve already started a “goals list” for 2009. (Inspiration courtesy of Hebba. That girl makes lists for everything!) Maybe if my goals are staring up at me in black ink, I’ll be more likely to work towards them. I might even share them with you guys. Then you can hold me accountable and force me to not be so lazy.
Overall, I’ve been feeling a little insignificant lately. (Not in the sad, pathetic way.) I just feel like there is so much out there — so many experiences, so many opportunities — that I haven't taken advantage of. I don’t want to lead a mediocre life. I know it sounds cheesy, but I want my life to really count for something. I want to make a difference. I don’t want to feel like I missed out on anything.
I’m getting tired of living life on cruise control.
Carpe diem, right?