"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Chaos and craziness

Weekly writing prompt from MamaKat: Describe a time when your pet caused chaos.

Wow. Just one time my dear, sweet, innocent little angel caused chaos?? I don’t even know where to start.

First of all, he’s destroyed an insane amount of my things. For a dog his size, it’s amazing the things he can eat through. Like a down comforter. Or a cell phone. Or two TV remotes. Ooooh, how about 10 pairs of really cute shoes? While these things have been extremely annoying, they haven’t really been utter chaos.

Not that he’s incapable of making me crazy.

Looking back on it, the funniest instance I can remember happened just a few months ago.

I was home sick from work on a Friday afternoon. I felt so awful, I had not even changed out of my pajamas. My hair was a total disaster, piled on top of my head in some semblance of a ponytail caught in a wind storm. I looked like something from Night of the Living Dead. Anyway, Toby was at the door, whining to go out, so I picked him up and took him to the back yard. See, there’s no door that leads from the house to the yard, so you have to go out into the carport and open the fence… a lot of space for an annoying dog to make a get-away.

I guess he sensed that I was slower than normal on this particular day, so he wiggled and twisted his way out of my arms and took off down the street. Lovely. I knew if I went in to get shoes I’d never find him, or catch up with him, so I ran after him. Barefoot. In my pajamas. At 2:30 in the afternoon. My neighbors probably thought I was nuts.

Toby’s not stupid. Inside, when his attention is focused (which is rare), I can say “sit,” “lay down,” “come here,” “stay,” and he follows directions accordingly. Outside, it’s a totally different story. He suddenly become deaf, running from one yard to the next, peeing on mailboxes, trees, cars… anything he can find — leaving me to chase after him. Then he’ll stop and wait, almost like he’s ready to come home. I’ll get within a foot of catching him, and he’ll shoot off like a rocket.

Anyway, my house is just across the highway from the football stadium where the high school and tiny mite teams play. And their mascot? A bulldog. So here I am, standing in a stranger's yard, barefoot, in my PJs, yelling at my idiot dog, and out of no where, I hear this: “Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who? Who let the dogs out?”

How appropriate. Who let this little hellion out?? Oh, right, that was me.

It was like God was laughing at me.


Jessica said...

This really did make me laugh out loud. I'm sorry.. a little embarrasing. But you just have to laugh at that looking back. Right??

Mom.. I'm sorry! No worries though.. all is fine. Maybe a little case of writers block! I have decided to go private very shortly though so I need both of your email addressed to make sure you can read!

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! I'm sure it wasn't at the time, but I hope you can look back and laugh at it now. Sounds like there's never a dull moment with Toby around.


Diane said...

Well, SOMEONE was laughing at you (likely all your at-home neighbors... and me, had I been there :).

Mel said...

That was funny! You must really love him to hold onto him after eating 10 PAIRS OF REALLY CUTE SHOES!! Seriously, that's love. ;)

Anonymous said...

I thought that I had heard all the Toby stories - This was one of the funniest...


Becoming Me said...

Great post..although I'm sure you wouldn't want that to happen again

Jenners said...

This was such a great story! Totally had me laughing, remembering my childhood dog! This post is the reason I read blogs! THANK YOU!

Shala said...

We have similar stories, don't you just love dogs!?!

Kelly said...

Your own embarrasing moment complete with music!

Anonymous said...

Cute story! And the picture of your pop on your sidebar...adorable. (btw, you are too.)

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Lovely story, thank you.

Mama Kat said...

I really think I would lose it on a pet. After cleaning up after kids non stop...I could not handle the addition of a tyrant animal. :)