"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown

Friday, December 19, 2008

Holiday humor and a lot of driving

I started a pretty funny book last night — Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris. It’s a collection of holiday essays that have a bleak, yet humorous, outlook on the season. If you’re easily offended, please don’t read it. I don’t want to be responsible for your heart attack when you get to the part where the Korean step-daughter who dresses like a prostitute puts the baby in the washing machine – apparently her broken English misunderstood “WATCH the baby,” to mean “WASH the baby.” It could happen to anyone. Well, maybe not. But that’s just the sick mind of David Sedaris. You’ve been warned.

In other news, I’m headed to Birmingham this afternoon. Tomorrow is the annual TSO concert. I’m so excited! I can’t wait for the music and lights and snow… the electric violin and Carol of the Bells… AHHHG!! I’m all giddy just thinking about it.

I finally feel prepared for Christmas. The shopping is done, the gifts are wrapped, my plans are all laid out. Now all that’s left is the driving. I’ll be coming back to Andalusia for work Monday and Tuesday, driving three hours to my grandparents on Wednesday, driving another 3 hours to my dad’s on Friday, then back here (about 5 hours) on Sunday. Oh, then back to Birmingham the following weekend for Deano’s birthday!!! I get to pull babysitting duties while Jen sets up.

I added up all of the hours in the car and determined I’ll spend 21 hours driving over the next two weeks.

Looks like my iPod is going to be working overtime.

Incase my blog gets neglected over the next few crazy days, have a happy, safe and blessed Christmas (or Hanukah, or Kwanza, or whatever it is you celebrate… )


Mel said...

David Sedaris is one of my favorite humans on the planet! I went to a book reading he did last spring. As soon as I saw that you were reading Holidays on Ice, I wondered if you were going to mention that story! So, you think she really said "Watch the baby." like she said she did, or do you think she thought she'd kill (sorry!) two birds with one stone by saying "Wash the baby" to what's-her-name? I always felt like she did it on purpose. Not to get all analyzy!

Have you ever heard him do The Santaland Diaries? I think he first read some of it on This American Life years ago. The story changed somewhat, but it's still funny. Here's the link in case you want to put it on you i-pod to take with you.


Have a very Merry Christmas, tell your mom Merry Christmas, and be very, very careful in all your travels!!

Diane said...

Yes, you're right... David Sedaris is one of my all-time favorites. I haven't read the one you're talking about but I'll find it.

Have a VERY safe and wonderful holiday!!! Tell your mom hi :)


Cheryl said...

David Sedaris is so funny. I love to read his books. I recently heard him speak in our town and he is just as funny in person! Perfect book for holiday cheer(fullness)!
Have a safe ride and enjoy the lights and other festivities!

Anonymous said...

I haven't read Dave Sedaris. I'm behind the times, though. Happy Birthday! Please drive carefully and have a wonderful weekend and Christmas. We'll see you at Dean's party!

Love you,

Mel said...

Oh yeah! Almost forgot: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Jenners said...

Just love David Sedaris! Holidays on Ice is pretty much his ONLY book I haven't read yet ... and I just got it the other day. Might have to read it in the next few days ... seems pretty slim compared to his others.

Drive safe and have fun! That is a heck of a lot of driving! Take frequent rests. Oh my gosh...I think I'm a mother.

Candice said...

Drive safely and Happy holidays!! Thanks for stopping by my neck of the woods. ;)

Jen L. said...

Holy travelling, Batman! You be safe! Dean's totally jazzed that you're coming to his party and even MORE jazzed to have you as his sitter. You and I and your mom may need to hit the party store, by the way.
Have a great Christmas! Love ya!