"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

"Don't go in the kitchen...."

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

First of all, let me clarify that I am NOT mean. Really, I’m not. But at times, I feel that it’s my right as the oldest sibling to shake things up a bit and scare the pants off my younger brothers.

Okay, so maybe it was only once. But you better believe I made that one time count.

When I was fifteen, one of my neighbors was at the house watching a scary movie with me. (This is before I got to be such a wuss and quit watching scary movies.) My brother, Sean, was probably eight or so, and he and his friend thought they were big and bad enough to watch the horror flick, too. I told him it was a bad idea. I told him he’d have nightmares. But he insisted. He was determined to watch. And to my surprise, he didn’t flinch once during the whole movie. He didn’t seem scared at all. I had to fix that.

Once the movie ended, Sean and his friend went to his room to play, while Anni and I plotted our very own little house of horrors.

First, we took out a butcher knife and covered it in a nasty mix of ketchup and maple syrup (to look like blood, of course.) We left it laying on the kitchen counter and smeared some more of our sticky, sweet, tomato based blood all around it.


Then, we hid in my step-mom’s office and used the separate phone line to call the house and torture my brother. When he answered, I said (in my raspiest, scariest voice) something along the lines of, “Don’t go in the kitchen.” It took several calls to get him sounding a little shaky. By the time he finally made his way to the “crime scene”, Anni was sprawled across the floor, pretending to be dead. She must have been pretty convincing. Sean and his friend FREAKED out.

At first it was hilarious. But once he started crying, I felt like crap. I was sure that I had scarred him for life.

Luckily there was no permanent damage to his psyche.

And believe it or not, I never did anything like that again.

18 comments:

Diane said...

Oooooooh... you ARE mean. Funny... very, very funny... but mean! Ryan totally would have been scarred (and scared) for life if someone did that to her. She has nightmares from Ghost Whisperer (she inherited my weenie-gene).

GREAT story!!

Dan said...

Why is it always us older siblings doing something mean to our younger siblings? Maybe they deserved it? {*grin*}

Nice story.

Mel said...

NIIIIIIICE! I approve!

Rachel Cotterill said...

Sounds like it must have scarred you for life if you never did anything like it again!

Remind me to tell you the story of my husband and the axe... maybe one for hallowe'en...

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Oooo....nasty piece of work. I like it!

Missy said...

May I recommend a therapist for you? I mean the kid you scared the shit out of! LOL

Missy said...

Me again! So glad that I am an only child!

Jenners said...

Oh that is awful! I'm amazed the little kid didn't have a heart attack! But then again, it is awfully funny. And it was only the one time. And darn, I wish I'd done this to my brother (the one who always tortured me -- even though I was the oldest). Great post!

Jen L. said...

So THIS is waht I missed out on by being an only child...

Simply AnonyMom said...

That is ver mean. But oh so funny. Has he forgiven you?

Kelly said...

LMAO ! Being the oldest did have its advantages....even though the baby got away with murder!

Andy said...

Wait, you felt bad after he started crying? That's when you start feeling good!

It's Just Me said...

Popping in from Missy's blog I believe. What a story!

blueviolet said...

That was so mean! However, I feel better about my own shenanigans because of it so thanks for that!

Lacey said...

See? Now THAT'S why I'm glad I'm an only child! ;-)

Kristen said...

That is evil. You should post about how he claims it has affected him throughout his life. His phobia of maple syrup. Why he hates kitchens...and basically how you ruined him for all of us ladies. I'm not bitter though.

Namine said...

it's a good idea but so mean!!

Chef E said...

How funny! We did mean things like that to our brother, and once held him down while my sister put my mom's bra on him...