"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown
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Monday, November 3, 2008

The woes of being "too nice"

So, apparently November is National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo for short). Basically, if you sign up, you have to post 30 posts in 30 days, or one per day each day of November. Several of my favorite bloggers have signed up, which means I'm in for a month of good reading material.

I, however, am NOT signing up. I know if I did, I would inevitably miss a few days and feel like I failed, and I just can't handle that. :)

Actually, it has more to do with the fact that I don't think I have enough fun or important things to say. I have no babies to brag about, no exciting life to keep you entertained or raging opinions to let loose on the blog world.

Try to hide your disappointment.

In other news, I had a rude awakening this weekend. I have realized that I am WAY too nice to some people. I tend to put myself out there, even with people who have proven they don't deserve it. This became very evident Friday night. Here's the story:

My freshman year in Troy, I lived across the street from this guy (we'll just call him Jerk-face, of JF for short.) JF and I were pretty good friends, most days. Everyone thought he had some bi-polar issues, but that's another story. Anyway, I took up for him when others didn't and we stayed friends all through college. Cut to my junior year. I was working at Wal-Mart and had become friends with a girl in the department next to mine. We'll call her Two-face, or TF for short. TF was engaged to a guy who basically tried to buy her affection with nice things, but rarely gave her the emotional support she needed. She wanted out, but was afraid to end things with someone she had been with for so long. She'd talk to me about things, and I'd listen, never knowing quite what to say, except to tell her she deserved better. Eventually, she called things off. It wasn't long afterwards that she became interested in JF. She asked me about him and I encouraged her to give it a shot. So, she did. They hit it off, and before long, they were engaged. Now, I'm not sure when or WHY this happened, but TF suddenly quit talking to me. I wasn't invited to the wedding, and I started hearing rumors that she thought I wanted to be with JF. Seriously...I told her to date him, why would I do that if I wanted to be with him? I don't know if it was because he and I had been friends for so long and she was jealous, or what her issues with me were, but they eventually cut all contact with me.

When I moved to Andalusia, I had forgotten that this is where JF was originally from. Last I heard, JF and TF were living happily ever after in Auburn. Well, Friday night a friend and I went to the local football game, and as I was walking by the concession stand, I saw them. Now, here's where the "too nice" thing comes into play. Without even thinking about it, I went over and tapped TF on the shoulder, smiling like an idiot, happy to see her. She turned around, and I swear, Laser beams were coming out of her eyeballs. Turns out, they live here now. I tried to make small talk, but it was like pulling teeth. I even blurted out, "Good to see y'all!" as they turned and walked away without saying bye. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Know what makes it even better? I apparently work with JF's dad and didn't even know it. Wonderful. I bet I'll be seeing more of them. We'll probably be best friends before long. (Yeah, right.)

Anyway, there's my long, sad story of friendship gone awry. I'm still not sure what I did to deserve being shunned, but hey — I'm probably better off without them.

Maybe they're miserable together and blame me for setting them up.

7 comments:

Diane said...

I don't know about too nice, but you are too funny ;). There's no explaining why some people act the way they do... and life's too short to spend time figuring it out (unless you're a therapist, of course, 'cause then, well, it'd be your JOB). Bottom line, you were true to YOU and the person you are. And that person happens to be nice. And that, my dear, is a good thing. Screw TF for being ugly and insecure and petty. Always remember (and never forget ;), Karma's a bitch.

PS... tell Mom I said hi :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry that they treated you that way. You and me,we are kind of like puppy dogs, we forget that we were just wacked with the newspaper, we come back like nothing ever happened, smiling, ready to be friends again. Don't change, always keep that forgiving nature of yours. Their loss.

Love,
M

Heather Cravey said...

Just because you don't have babies to brag about on your blog doesn't mean that your blogs aren't interesting!!!!! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE reading them! I'm guilty of making my children the center of mine--as are most of us with kids...Your blog is always very refreshing to me!!! To add to that, I love to see your mom's comments! I think it's priceless! You guys are very sweet and I love that!
And there's my two cents for the day!

Jessica said...

I too LOVE your blog and always always get excited when I see you've posted one. YOu have an entertaining way of telling us all about your day to day activities. But I do see why you're hesitant. I couldn't handle that pressure either and would spaz from the responsibilities.
As for your "friends".. forget them! They sound childish and you don't need them! You're too nice for that :)

Jen L. said...

It will get easier not to be "too nice" when you get older. You did the right thing. You can only hope that, if and when they ever grow up, they will realize they were acting like jerks and be embarassed.

hebba said...

WOW. What jerks. Don't sweat it. Don't dwell on it. Just go on living your life the best you can.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, too, so don't stop writing. It's in your genes to be nice, and that's a good thing. They'll wake up one day, hopefully, and even if they don't, you did the right thing. I'm proud of you.

Love,
AJ