"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nothing stays the same

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: What happened in the last year? Write about something you can do now that you couldn't do a year ago.

This past year has definitely been an eventful one. I can honestly say that almost every aspect of my life is different today than it was last March.

I’ve completed an internship, graduated, taken my first “real-world” job, moved, lost friends, lost a mentor, lost a boyfriend and struggled to find myself in the midst of all of the change.

Last March was my last semester of class in Troy. I was frustrated with school and terrified that I’d never find the internship I needed to graduate. I worked a crappy part-time job (with full-time hours) at a clothing store – letting myself constantly be pushed around by my idiot boss. I had no time to do anything but go to class and work. Finally, when I realized I’d never graduate if I didn’t get busy and line up an internship, I quit the crappy job. Thanks to a tip from a fellow journalism student, a wonderful reference from my beloved advisor and some form of divine intervention, I wound up snagging an internship with the company that I now work for full-time.
When I got here, I instantly fell in love with the people and the town (small as it may be.) I felt like I was home. I didn’t want to leave, and began dreading the whole job-search ordeal that would have to take place before the end of summer. Thankfully, a few weeks before I graduated, my boss offered me a job. I interned up to the day before my graduation, and started full-time the day after. It was seamless.

When I came here, a lot of things changed very quickly. I went from living with two other girls and both of their dogs, to living in a house with just me and Toby – from paying a third of the bills, to paying all of them on my own. From living in a town where I knew everyone, to living in a town where I knew virtually no one. From seeing my boyfriend every day, to seeing him once a week or less. I had to learn to adjust. I had to learn how to be on my own in every sense.

And you know what? It’s hard. I’ve struggled with a lot of emotions over the past several months. I’m doing fine, but it definitely hasn’t been a cake walk. The last month or so has been the hardest – dealing with the pain of realizing a relationship that I had been in for several years might not be the best thing for me. The hardest part is knowing I’ve hurt someone I care about.

But I can honestly say that I’m stronger, wiser and more independent today than I was this time last year. I know that I can count on myself to get by. I think that’s probably my biggest accomplishment to date – feeling secure in my ability to provide for myself.

I can’t wait to look back this time next year and see what’s changed.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm very proud of the maturing that you have done this past year.
The job was difinitely a God-send.
Lots of prayers from a whole lot of people go out for you...
Love,
M

Diane said...

I'm so proud of you! You are the person I WISH I'd been at 23 (hell, at 33... crap, at 43!). Great things are waiting for you... I feel it. And first up is meeting me! ;)

America's Next Top Mommy said...

Wow, you've had a lot of changes. But I'm so happy that they've all been great ones. Congratulations on all you've accomplished.

I can very much relate to you being alone in a new place. When I graduated from college I moved from Oklahoma to Pennsylvania to attend graduate school. It was a HUGE adjustment and you're right...it is hard!

Good for you for taking charge of your life! I wish you many more wonderful accomplishments in 2009!!

Mel said...

...and now you're a grownup! That job...wow! You're so lucky! It probably had so much less to do with luck, and so much more to do with you. A lot has changed, but look how far you've come! Pretty impressive!

Jessica said...

I almost cried reading this! Heather, it sounds like you have had one hell of a year, but like you said, it seems to be all paying off. I feel like I'm just now starting to go through these things too and it is hard.. But I'm so so proud of you for coming as far as you have! It makes my heart happy!

Lacey said...

I feel like you're mirroring my thoughts, just from a slightly different perspective. I wish... a lot of things. For both of us. I'm glad you blog, haha. But seriously, without the "haha." ;-)

"FINE"al thoughts... said...

Wow...great post! I love Mama Kat's writing workshop...that's where I found you. Thanks for sharing

Jenni said...

That sounds like a lot to accomplish in one year. I hope you are proud of yourself for surviving and doing it well.

April said...

What a busy year. So glad you learned from it all.

Jenners said...

Wow! I didn't realize ALL of this had taken place just within the last year! What a year! What an accomplishment! I know it has been up and down, but you have really come a long way, and you seem wise beyond your years. Damn ... I wish I was as together as you are when I was your age. (Talk about an awkward sentence ... the one I just typed was one!)

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Tough number. I want to know where you will be in a years time too. (taps foot impatiently...)