Chaos and craziness

Weekly writing prompt from MamaKat: Describe a time when your pet caused chaos.

Wow. Just one time my dear, sweet, innocent little angel caused chaos?? I don’t even know where to start.

First of all, he’s destroyed an insane amount of my things. For a dog his size, it’s amazing the things he can eat through. Like a down comforter. Or a cell phone. Or two TV remotes. Ooooh, how about 10 pairs of really cute shoes? While these things have been extremely annoying, they haven’t really been utter chaos.

Not that he’s incapable of making me crazy.

Looking back on it, the funniest instance I can remember happened just a few months ago.

I was home sick from work on a Friday afternoon. I felt so awful, I had not even changed out of my pajamas. My hair was a total disaster, piled on top of my head in some semblance of a ponytail caught in a wind storm. I looked like something from Night of the Living Dead. Anyway, Toby was at the door, whining to go out, so I picked him up and took him to the back yard. See, there’s no door that leads from the house to the yard, so you have to go out into the carport and open the fence… a lot of space for an annoying dog to make a get-away.

I guess he sensed that I was slower than normal on this particular day, so he wiggled and twisted his way out of my arms and took off down the street. Lovely. I knew if I went in to get shoes I’d never find him, or catch up with him, so I ran after him. Barefoot. In my pajamas. At 2:30 in the afternoon. My neighbors probably thought I was nuts.

Toby’s not stupid. Inside, when his attention is focused (which is rare), I can say “sit,” “lay down,” “come here,” “stay,” and he follows directions accordingly. Outside, it’s a totally different story. He suddenly become deaf, running from one yard to the next, peeing on mailboxes, trees, cars… anything he can find — leaving me to chase after him. Then he’ll stop and wait, almost like he’s ready to come home. I’ll get within a foot of catching him, and he’ll shoot off like a rocket.

Anyway, my house is just across the highway from the football stadium where the high school and tiny mite teams play. And their mascot? A bulldog. So here I am, standing in a stranger's yard, barefoot, in my PJs, yelling at my idiot dog, and out of no where, I hear this: “Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who? Who let the dogs out?”

How appropriate. Who let this little hellion out?? Oh, right, that was me.

It was like God was laughing at me.

Haha...seriously. OCTOBER??

Well, according to the insurance people, a lot of people have dogs just as bad as Toby. They said I'd be surprised at how many people call and say their dog used their phone as a chew toy. So, THANKFULLY my cell insurance covered the damage and all I had to do was pay a deductible on the new phone. The bad news is Toby demolished any chance I had at getting my contact list, so now I have NO phone numbers. So if I don't call you, it's not because I don't love you, it's because my memory sucks and I don't have your phone number any more.

Also, I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but today is the first day of October! Are you kidding me? Where did September go? Or what about August? Last time I checked, I thought it was still May. Sheesh...the summer flew by and now it's gone. I have officially been in Andalusia for FIVE months now. That's insane... I feel like I fell asleep and someone changed my calendar as a joke. The good news is that the weather will be cooling down some, prompting me to find outdoor activities to do on the weekends. I think I'm going to look on Outdoor Alabama today and see if there are any trails nearby. Why can't there be mountains in south Alabama?

Chew toys and beach bums

Let me begin by saying this: I love my dog. I really do. I can't put any kind of monetary value on his company and friendship. BUT, if he eats one more thing at my house that I have to replace, I'm going to be poor.

Here's a brief summary of some of the things he's destroyed in the past year: countless pairs of socks, an estimated 15 pairs of shoes, two t.v. remotes, a blanket, a suede comforter, three harnesses, two leashes, a collar, two throw pillows, six books, two cell phone chargers, an ungodly amount of toilet paper, a few hats, some DVD cases... the list goes on.

But here's the real kicker — last night, he ate MY CELL PHONE. The bottom half of it is completely chewed up. I can still use the arrow buttons at the top, but that's about it. OH, and he destroyed the part where the charger plugs in, so once the battery dies, that's it. No more phone. I guess I'll be going to Alltel tonight to find a new one. Obviously the two chew toys that Mama bought him this weekend weren't enough to keep him entertained. Good try though.

Somebody please tell me why I love him so much?

Maybe he was getting me back for leaving him alone all day Saturday while we were at the beach. Which was AMAZING, by the way. The weather was absolutely perfect. No clouds, temp in the high 80s, crystal clear water. And I didn't even burn!

(Here we are on the way to the beach!)

We went to play mini-golf, which was really fun until about the 10th hole when everyone was more focused on the prospect of seafood than trying to get the ball in the hole.

(We had to take a picture with the gorilla.)So we rushed through the last few holes and went to the Back Porch, where we proceeded to stuff our faces with shrimp, crab claws, scallops and other tasty beach things. Over all, it was a great day.

(The mother-daughter picture.)

Not to mention Alabama totally upset Georgia Saturday night. Can I get a Roll Tide?