"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I think congratulations are in order

Oh, the things you find out on Facebook.

For example, imagine my shock when I stumbled across my ex’s new girlfriend. Only to see that her profile picture was a shot of her brand new engagement ring.

Now, ordinarily this would not have taken me by such surprise. Perhaps the fact that he had literally text me 45 minutes before and said nothing about the fact that he was getting married threw me off a little. Nonetheless, I’m happy for them.

A little confused – but happy.

I mean, I devoted nearly five years of my life to this man and got nothing. No promise of forever. Nothing that lasted. Just a lot of hurt splashed with a few good memories. We’ve been apart six and a half months and he’s already committed to spend the rest of his life with this woman. A woman who, just months ago, he said would never compare to me. I guess he was right. In his eyes, she must be better.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not jealous. I’m not bitter. I’m in a really good place in my life right now. I’m happier than I’ve been in a very, very long time and I sincerely wish them the best.

But, since he made it clear yesterday that he has been reading this blog, let me take a moment say this: You said you wanted so badly for us to stay friends. You said you miss talking to me. That you’d love to hear from me every now and then and know that I’m doing well. That I’ll always hold a piece of your heart. As lovely as that all sounds, please know that it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to stay in contact with an engaged man. I don’t feel that it’s appropriate. If you want to know how I’m doing, just assume that my life is fantastic and that I’m happy. Because it is and I am.

20 comments:

sherri said...

You've made the right choice Heather. I think you're lucky/blessed that you didn't end up with him "forever". Enjoy your happiness.

Trudy said...

Good for you Heather! Be happy!

scarlethue said...

I'm glad you're finding happiness. :)

pmartin3z said...

Heather I so admire your strength it takes a long time for a woman to get in the place that you are in, but I am so proud that you are being true to yourself through all this. Keep living, keep smiling because you have a great future ahead of you. :)xoxox

Rebecca Lynn said...

Good for you!! I think congratulations should be directed to you for realizing this - many women don't and end up making idiots of themselves.

Shayla said...

I love your strength in this post!

You are without a doubt on the better path and you will find much more happiness down it I'm sure!

I don't know why any woman would agree to marry a man who recently got out of a 5 year relationship..there must be something wrong with that somewhere???


Anyways, your blog is adorable and I know I don't know you, but I'm proud of your decision!!!

keep on keepin on sista!

~ H said...

Oh girl! I have so been in your shoes!!! 5 year relationship ... keep in touch post breakup ... find out man is engaged ... wants you "in his life and to keep in touch" ... and I took your same stance.

Imagine my surprise (not) when his marriage quickly dissolved and he was back to contacting me.

I was stupid at first, and let him back in ... I highly don't recommend that.

STAY STRONG. Stay true to yourself and know that he's already had the best days of his life ...

Christopher said...

Well handled.

Karen said...

You did the right thing!!! He should not be texting you and "keeping in touch" with his ex if he is engaged to someone else. Neither her nor you should be put in that situation. Nothing good will come of it.

Yes, you were hurt when you saw the photo. I was when I found out my ex husband was expecting... I couldn't believe I was... I am happily married to the most wonderful man in the world. My ex walked out on me, left me with no home and pregnant... needless to say I moved on, it was hard but I did it ;)

I'm over it now. The baby is here. He will find out about how life is soon enough. Keep your chin up and don't respond to his texts.. no one needs drama like that in their lives ;)

Andy said...

Bam! Take it, ex! Feel it burn!

If you would like me to slice his tires or something, let me know. I know a guy who knows a guy.

Jessica said...

You know what? I promise you that you ended up with the better end of this deal. Pinky promise. Who cares if their marriage will last or not. I'm sure being the amazingly good person that you are, you hope it does last. But this all happened for a reason. This happened so you can find who you are truly meant to be with... and some women don't ever give themselves that chance. I can't wait for the day that this happens to you love!

hebba said...

Oh, I know where you are. I've been there. ANd yeah, it's hard to shake the WTF??? But life is good. And will get better.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Good. Well said. Now that that is off your chest, let go of the prick and move on!

P said...

I find it so weird that he didn't bother to tell you himself - it makes no sense.

You are well shot of him!

Jenners said...

Jesus. I'd be bitter and jealous. I really would. You are a better woman than me and better off without him.

Gack.

Lacey said...

Oh how I can SO relate. It's not jealousy or bitterness... it's just... it's just... the WTF-factor. Like, seriously.

W.

T.

F.

(And for the record, the WTF feelings still creep up on me sometimes. Why this is, I have no clue. I've been with the most wonderful man I could ever imagine for over 5 years. I have a wonderful life. The life I led before was horrible and scary and pointless spattered with occasional happy memories that I barely even remember. And yet, there it is. I'll have a WTF moment out of nowhere, for no reason other than WTF.)

But you're exactly right. You're in a fantastic place in your life right now and there's no need to complicate things with the drama! I wish him the best, I really do because I know he was a huge part of your life for a really long time. But it's not about him. It's about you. And YOU are awesome. :-)

Little Ms Blogger said...

Hmmm...he wants to be friends, but doesn't tell you he's engaged. Somehow I think he's not telling his fiance he's in contact with you. I pity her because he's clearly not over you.

Good stand. It must have been hard, but in the end you'll be happier and when ready will be able to be in a healthy relationship.

LambAround said...

Ooooh, that ticks me off! Good for you for not being bitter. My piece of scum ex did a similar thing and I was annoyed out of my mind! I want his future to be happiness-free! (LOL, okay, now I'm all worked up again!)

Lamb's Most Recent Post: Who Are These People?!

Kristin said...

Well said lady! Sounds like you're much better off. :)

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