"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-- Unknown

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: A song you can’t escape.

Call it fate. Call it a coincidence. Or call it plain ol’ annoying dumb luck. But shortly after me and The Ex broke up, there was one song that haunted me everywhere I went.

See, right after the big break, The Ex called A LOT. He sent texts telling me he missed me. No one would ever compare to me. I was the one that got away. Yada Yada Yada. I finally reached a breaking point and told him that I just couldn’t talk to him anymore. It was too hard. So, from then on out, he said the lyrics of this Lady Antebellum song always made him think of me:

It’s a quarter after one
I’m all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

Up until then I’d only heard that song once or twice. Ever. Suddenly the song was on every damn radio station. Nonstop. I’d go into a store and it’d be playing on the speakers. I’d turn on CMT and the video would be on. I’d get in my car and it would be the first song I heard. I’d change the station and inevitably find it again. Do you have any idea how obnoxious that became? There I was, trying to get over him, and every time I turned around, I had to hear some stupid song that he said reminded him of our situation. Then I’d have a weak moment and call or text him, and suddenly we were right back to that place I didn’t want to be in anymore. Trying (in vain) to be friends, when it was clearly impossible.

But then – after a few weeks of talking to him nearly every day, I had a revelation: he didn’t need me then... so why would he need me now? Sure, I was the one who ended our relationship, but only because I felt a distance that I couldn’t shake. I didn’t feel wanted anymore. Definitely not needed. So WHY would I let myself believe that anything had changed just because of some stupid song?

As it turns out, he was already dating someone new during this time. He was calling and texting me, playing this song and telling me that I was the only one for him – while he was with her! Poor girl… I feel bad for her. She has no idea that her new boyfriend is a manipulative man who will try every trick in the book to mess with someone’s emotions.

So I told him to give his new girlfriend the attention she deserves and quit calling me. I asked him not to text. I told him – once again – to leave me alone. And so far, he’s respected that.

I still hear that song from time to time. But now – instead of feeling nostalgic – I just laugh and roll my eyes.


Trudy said...

I'm glad you've gotten past the ickiness of the song...it's good to be able to laugh about things!

~ H said...

It's so true ... those exes ALWAYS come back. Similar situation here ... had the new girlfriend, too ... I am SO PROUD of you though. Keep rolling those eyes and know that you are so much better off.

Jenners said...

I'm so glad you saw the truth of him and didn't let him manipulate like that anymore!!! ARGH! Men! Why do they do this?

I'm glad the song has lost its power ... and may you never hear it (or from him) again.

Brunch at Saks said...

Love this post! It takes such a strong person to move on and not fall into the same pattern. Im so happy you spoke your truth and that you can laugh about things like this now! xoxo

Lolli said...

I'm so glad that you stayed strong! I like your perspective on this song!

Brodricks said...

Songs can bring back alot of memories, good and bad. Glad you can laugh now!
Droppin by from Mama Kat's!

angie said...

What a manipulator. That goodness for that epiphany about him. Glad he's left you alone!

Missy said...

Great post! Fate is a big question for me...

Kimmy said...

I instantly thought of the movie "Better Off Dead" with John Cusack. Super funny movie but he too had the same problem. Every song that would come on the radio after his breakup was about breaking up. Great post!

Stopping by from Mama Kat's!

scarlethue said...

I moved to London one summer 5 years ago, and that very summer Michael Buble's song "Home" was playing over and over on London radio stations:

"Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by
A million people, I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Because I miss you"

Can I tell you how miserably homesick those lyrics made me?

Weird how that happens-- is it coincidence, or do we just notice these songs because that's the state of mind we happen to be in?

Michelle said...

Good for you! Way to stand up to him and make him quit running around on his girlfriend too.

scarlethue said...

I just friended you on facebook :)