These hips don't lie

An hour of pouring sweat. Completely breathless. Body shaking from sheer exhaustion. Yet somehow wishing it wasn’t over…

I’ve become hopelessly addicted to the latest exercise craze.

When my friend Cat tried to talk me into Zumba classes, I told her the painful truth: I have zero rhythm. No coordination. I didn’t want to make an idiot of myself in a class full of people who knew what they were doing.

But then I gave in and tried it. And despite flouncing around like a total goober, I can’t get enough.

The lights are low and the music is loud. And no one is watching you – they’re too busy trying to keep up with the instructor. With hops and shimmies and hip rolls, who has time to make fun of the rhythm-lacking fool in the back of the room?

Before you know it, you’re drenched in sweat and the hour is over. I leave class in a great mood, pumped from the energy of the music, with an endorphin high like I’ve never experienced with any other form of exercise.

It’s fantastic. I can’t wait until tomorrow night, when I’ll be back in that room full of mirrors, shaking it to Shakira.

Umm, excuse me... what's this fluffy white stuff?

When they said that our small southern town was expecting 4-6 inches of snow last Friday, I have to admit — I was skeptical. I thought, if anything, we'd get a little dusting of white. Nothing to play in. Surely nothing that would stick around for any length of time. Needless to say, I was wrong.

Here are a few shots from early in the day:

Not really sure who's barn this is, but I thought it was pretty.

One of the many trees painted white by the unusual winter weather

Our town square

Our redneck snowman — notice the John Deere cap and Miller Lite eyeballs. Very classy. This is what happens when you build a snowman at a guy's house. Your choices of accessories are slim to none. As a side note, please excuse the way I'm squatting. It looks like I'm trying really hard not to pee my pants.

Me and Cat at work Friday morning

Most everyone cleared out of work by 1:30, and the city closed the roads at 2 - supposedly because us southerners aren't used to driving on ice. To my surprise, we still had snow on the ground in some areas throughout the weekend. And remnants of some snowpeople are still standing around town, which is strange, considering it was a warm, sunny 62 on Sunday. (Unfortunately, it's a frigid 25 today.)

It has definitely been a strange winter, and I have to be honest here... I'm extremely ready for the hot days of a southern summer. Bring on the sunscreen, boiled peanuts, flip flops and days on the lake. You can keep this cold stuff. It was fun for a day, but I've had my fill.

Someone thinks I'm sweet as sugar

Well, apparently my lack of posting has been noticed…. In fact, I’ve just received an award because of it. Now, Scarlethue, I appreciate the gesture, but are you sure rewarding me for my absence is really the way to go? I guess it’s kind of like positive reinforcement, though. “Here, have this award… but you’ll have to actually write a blog post to accept it. Gotcha!”

But I do appreciate this little gem:


Now, I suppose I’m obligated to tell you ten (more) things about myself. I think I’m running out of information – I’ve told you guys almost all there is to know! But I’ll see if I can squeeze out a little more.

• I’m sick. And not just sick in the head… like really sick. I can’t breath, my voice sounds crappy and my chest feels like someone is sitting on it. I guess this is when most people go to the doctor… Instead, I’ve self medicated with enough Mucinex to drug a horse.

• My purse was stolen a few weeks ago. Sad but true. And I made it super easy for the blasted thief, too. Genius here left her purse on the floorboard of her unlocked car. Luckily, my debt card and driver’s license were in my ID holder on my keychain, which was in my pocket. Still, they got my checkbook, a few prescription drugs, my bottle of Burberry Brit Red, my camera and my old iPod (THANK GOD it wasn’t my pretty new 32 gig baby. I would have been sick.) OH, and it was my very favorite purple crocodile Nine West purse. My heart still hurts a little.

• I’m currently addicted to this diva:

I mean, seriously. Check out that album cover. It’s straight up glam-rock. 80’s style. The songs are catchy, upbeat and they make me want to dance.

• I loathe the cold. I know I don’t have it near as bad as Diane, Andy or Jenners who are all battling some MAJOR winter weather right now, but this southern girl is pretty miserable in any temperature below about 65. Right now, it’s 41 with a wind chill of 32. We have a 70 percent chance of snow on Friday. SNOW. In Andalusia… Y’all, I live 20 minutes north of Florida. The Sunshine State. What’s up with the arctic wind that’s drying out my skin and chapping my lips?

• I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind, as is evidenced by the fact that I recently ordered Beachbody’s Insanity workout program. It’s 60 days of crazy hard, fast paced torture. I’m going to start it as soon as I beat this nasty cold. Pray for me.

• I got my hair cut last week for the first time in over a year. Yes, you read that right. Scissors had not touched my very damaged hair in close to 14 months. Because the LAST time I got a hair cut, I was a little traumatized. Check out this whack job from last fall (as in Fall of 2008):

Now, this is my hair a few weeks ago:


See how long it had grown? I was so proud. I wanted to keep the length, but add a little sumpthin’ sumpthin’. This isn’t a great picture (I don’t know why it’s so grainy?), but here’s my hair now:


You can’t really tell from this picture, but I have side bangs and layers now. I’m kind of loving it.

• I have an unhealthy addiction to Lay’s Kettle Cooked Jalapeno chips. They’re crunchy and delicious. And I could probably eat an entire bag in one sitting. Right… did I mention that I ordered a crazy hard workout program? I need it. I blame the chips.

• I’m wearing Crest Whitestrips Advanced Seal while I type this post. I have a thing about teeth. My teeth are actually pretty white, as is. I just want to be sure they stay that way. I drink a lot of coffee and diet Coke and always stress that my teeth are going to get discolored. I don’t know about y’all, but one of the first things I notice about someone is their smile (right after their eyes). I just want to be sure mine stays presentable.

• I don’t understand people who can’t branch outside their normal clique. I’ve always had a wide variety of friends, spread over several different groups. It’s great, but the problem arises when I’d like to do something with ALL of them, but they don’t get along with each other. Then I have to decide who to hang out with and I get accused of picking favorites. We’re adults, people. Why can’t we all just get along?

• I sorta maybe have a Valentine… maybe more than a Valentine, as that is kind of limited to one day. Details later…

Well, there you have it – ten more random things about me. And now to pass the love along.

I’m going to give the Sugar Doll award to Brunch at Saks… because she is definitely a doll. And she posts some of the prettiest, sweetest things you’ll ever see.

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: A song you can’t escape.

Call it fate. Call it a coincidence. Or call it plain ol’ annoying dumb luck. But shortly after me and The Ex broke up, there was one song that haunted me everywhere I went.

See, right after the big break, The Ex called A LOT. He sent texts telling me he missed me. No one would ever compare to me. I was the one that got away. Yada Yada Yada. I finally reached a breaking point and told him that I just couldn’t talk to him anymore. It was too hard. So, from then on out, he said the lyrics of this Lady Antebellum song always made him think of me:

It’s a quarter after one
I’m all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

Up until then I’d only heard that song once or twice. Ever. Suddenly the song was on every damn radio station. Nonstop. I’d go into a store and it’d be playing on the speakers. I’d turn on CMT and the video would be on. I’d get in my car and it would be the first song I heard. I’d change the station and inevitably find it again. Do you have any idea how obnoxious that became? There I was, trying to get over him, and every time I turned around, I had to hear some stupid song that he said reminded him of our situation. Then I’d have a weak moment and call or text him, and suddenly we were right back to that place I didn’t want to be in anymore. Trying (in vain) to be friends, when it was clearly impossible.

But then – after a few weeks of talking to him nearly every day, I had a revelation: he didn’t need me then... so why would he need me now? Sure, I was the one who ended our relationship, but only because I felt a distance that I couldn’t shake. I didn’t feel wanted anymore. Definitely not needed. So WHY would I let myself believe that anything had changed just because of some stupid song?

As it turns out, he was already dating someone new during this time. He was calling and texting me, playing this song and telling me that I was the only one for him – while he was with her! Poor girl… I feel bad for her. She has no idea that her new boyfriend is a manipulative man who will try every trick in the book to mess with someone’s emotions.

So I told him to give his new girlfriend the attention she deserves and quit calling me. I asked him not to text. I told him – once again – to leave me alone. And so far, he’s respected that.

I still hear that song from time to time. But now – instead of feeling nostalgic – I just laugh and roll my eyes.