Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.
Shall we begin?
Vitamin Water 10 (flavor “Go-Go”), you keep me hydrated and alert on days when I need an extra boost. The quirky wording on your label never fails to amuse me, and your delicious berry flavor never lets me down. Will you please accept this rose and remain my favorite morning (and afternoon) pick-me-up?
Sheldon Cooper (from the Big Bang Theory), your complete lack of social skills — paired with your cynical attitude and penchant for all things nerdy — keeps me laughing uncontrollably every Monday night. Will you please accept this rose and remain my favorite self-centered theoretical physicist? P.S. I promise to sing “Soft Kitty” to you when you’re sick…
Burberry Brit Red, you have been my favorite perfume for quite some time. Unfortunately, you were a limited edition, which makes you very hard to find these days. You can play hard-to-get all you want, but your long-lasting wonderful fragrance will keep me scouring stores and on-line perfume outlets to find you. Will you please accept this rose and continue bringing me compliments of, “Oooh, you smell good!”?
Flintstones Vitamins (Plus Iron), I will never be too old for you. For whatever reason, you are the only vitamin I can actually remember to take. Maybe it’s your fun character shapes or your tart, fruity flavors. All I know is you provide me (and anyone over the age of four) with 11 essential nutrients and 83 percent of my daily iron – that’s equivalent to five cups of spinach. Will you please accept this rose in the hopes that one day my iron level might actually be high enough to get me past the pre-screening part of donating blood? I’m tired of being turned away with the people who fail the “have you slept with anyone with herpesyphilitis in the last six months” survey.
Luke Bryan, I don’t care that your songs are waaay more country than what I typically like – you’ve had me hooked since you told me you could hotwire my tractor and plow up my land (And grow your own groceries and salt cure a ham. And wrestle hogs and gators with your two bare hands.). You ooze “good ol’ boy” charm – and that smile sure doesn’t hurt your appeal. Will you please accept this rose and keep me shamelessly singing along to songs about farms, hunting and all things country?
Well – that’s about all. I didn’t make it to ten, but I think I have my priorities in line. Vitamin Water, Sheldon Cooper, Burberry Brit Red, Flintstones Vitamins and Luke Bryan… what more do I need?