1) I desperately wish I could sing.
2) You don’t want to hear my try.
3) But I am learning to play the guitar.
4) I’m not doing a very good job.
5) I blame my teacher.
6) And the fact that I haven’t had a lesson in three weeks.
7) I haven’t practiced, either.
8) I’ve always wanted to go sky diving.
9) I’m an adrenaline junkie.
10) But I don’t want to bungee jump.
11) I’m afraid the bungee will break.
12) Or be too long and I’ll splat on the ground.
13) Strangely, I have no problem with parachutes.
14) I believe in coffee.
15) And Dr Pepper.
16) And sweet tea.
17) From the neck up, I look like my daddy.
18) Well, except for the long hair and make-up.
19) Neck down, I’m all Mama.
20) I’m not sure how that combination works for me.
21) Me and my ex are taking things slow, but trying to work things out.
22) I guess you could say we’re back together.
23) I snuck that in as nonchalantly as possible.
24) (I really missed him.)
25) When I was little, I had a Cabbage Patch doll named Ravioli.
26) My pasta obsession is still intact.
27) I really want to go to Italy.
28) Especially Tuscany.
29) I’d probably gain 20 pounds.
30) I actually used my treadmill yesterday.
31) Then I got off and ate chips and salsa.
32) That might be counterproductive.
33) My dog is an idiot.
34) But I love him with all my heart.
35) Even when he eats my socks and throws up on my bed.
36) If I ate my socks, I’d probably throw up, too.
37) I talk to strangers at the grocery store.
38) And pretty much everywhere else I go.
39) Basically, I talk all the time.
40) Mama said one of my first words was “French fry”.
41) And I wonder why I’m not skinny.
42) My backyard currently looks like a jungle.
43) There are random
44) They’re taller than Toby.
45) My neighbors probably hate me.
46) I plan on doing something about it this weekend.
47) And by “I”, I mean “Kevin.”
48) I don’t own any lawn equipment.
49) I thought that was what landlords were for.
50) I just realized I’m only halfway to 100.
51) I don’t think I’ll make it.
52) Let’s see…
53) My favorite movie is Boondock Saints.
54) Don’t watch it if you’re easily offended by violence or bad language.
55) Do watch it if you have a penchant for hot Irish guys.
56) I want to go to Ireland.
57) But not for the guys.
58) The landscapes look incredible.
59) I’m a self-proclaimed nerd.
60) I’m not that smart, I just like to read.
61) I got an Amazon Kindle for Christmas.
62) I love it so much.
63) I can’t believe they killed off Kutner on House this week.
64) I read that Kal Penn, the actor that played Kutner, quit the show to go work at the White House as a public liaison for Asian-Americans.
65) Ha. From House to the White House…
66) Do any of you watch House?
67) It’s pretty much my favorite show.
68) I watch way too much TV.
69) This list is getting ridiculously long.
70) And I’m bored.
71) So I’m quitting now.
72) Oh, I just remembered….
73) Don’t you hate it when people do that?
74) Like when you try to get off the phone, but the other person just keeps “remembering” something else to say?
75) I do that a lot.
76) Refer to number 39.
77) But seriously…
78) I forgot to tell you something.
79) I’m a huge Alabama football fan.
80) But I’ll watch any sport that’s on TV.
81) I’ve never been a girly girl.
82) The only thing I can do with my hair is “up” or “down.”
83) A full face of makeup takes me about five minutes.
84) I haven’t worn a dress in over two years.
85) And that was to my grandparents’ 50th anniversary party.
86) I’m severely clumsy.
87) I run into door frames on a daily basis.
88) I like to claim I have inner-ear problems that throw off my sense of balance.
89) Honestly, I think I’m just a klutz.
90) I once saw a sticker that said, “Don’t follow in my footsteps – I run into walls.”
91) I should have bought it.
92) I also have a habit of falling down stairs.
93) I broke my tailbone that way.
94) The pain pills they gave me made me loopy.
95) While I was on them, I tripped walking up the steps to my porch.
96) My knees hit the concrete and got all scraped up.
97) My head hit a step and I wound up looking like a unicorn (from the huge knot that formed on my forehead.)
98) I took another pain pill and went to sleep.
99) This has been the most random list of junk.
100) But now it’s over! (Aren’t you glad?)