Happy? So-so...

Diane posed an interesting question on her blog yesterday. She wanted to know how many of her readers were truly happy with their life and how many weren’t quite there yet.

And it really got me thinking. See, overall I’m a pretty happy person. I try to be positive and remind myself numerous times a day how very blessed I am. I have a loving family and a wonderful job that I was able to land just out of college. (Literally – I started the day after I graduated.) I am able to support myself and occasionally splurge on things that I want. I don’t have to worry where my next meal is going to come from, or if I’ll be able to pay my rent next month. I have a fantastic church family. I have someone who loves me unconditionally. I have so many things to be happy about…

So why do I find myself so down some days? Why do I feel so restless? There are days that I find myself so overcome with self pity that I find it hard to function. I know I have a good life, but some days I want more. I want excitement. I want a change of scenery. I want friends my age. I’ve been here a year and have yet to make many strong friendships. In a lot of ways, I still feel like an outsider. I miss being near my family and I miss seeing Kevin. Once a week just isn’t enough.

I joke about my boring life a lot, but in reality it’s not that funny. I leave work at 4:30 everyday and spend the rest of the day completely alone (with the exception of Toby). It might be different if Kevin didn’t work nights in another county. Maybe we could have dinner together a few times a week. But as it is, I find myself alone the majority of the time. And it gets old.

I’ve really been missing my friends from back home. With the start of summer, a lot of them are going to different outdoor concerts and spending weekends by the pool. They see each other after work and go to baseball games. They grill out and watch movies. I miss having people to hang out with.

But enough of that. I know how very blessed I am to have a job I love. I know things will get better. I’ll eventually find my place in this town. Kevin and I won’t always live an hour and a half away from each other. Things will change. I know. But I can’t help those feelings that keep creeping up – reminding me off all the things I miss about my home town.

Just what I need... another thing to waste my time

Well, thanks to Lacey over at Lacey in Love, I have a new obsession. See, Lacey does this thing called Fashion Friday where she "de-funks" different bloggers' fashion. Every week, she comes up with these adorable outfits, complete with accessories - and until recently I had NO idea how she was putting them all together in a cute little collage. Well, I finally clicked on one of them (duh- the obvious answer) and it took me to polyvore.com. Holy cow, guys... how much fun! You can browse pages and pages of pants, tops, dresses, rings, bracelets... pretty much anything your little heart desires. Then you just drag and drop them into a a little box and arrange until you're happy with the way it looks.

Here are a couple of examples of the fun I had yesterday:



At the office by bama_girl_84 featuring Juicy Couture Accessories

This one is for work. Note the iPod and coffee that is needed to get me through my day.

And this one:


Lazy day by bama_girl_84 featuring Old Navy Clothing


Well, this one is the perfect lazy day set up. PJs, books and my favorite candy...

Y'all, I'm addicted. The coolest part is it breaks it down item by item, telling you how much each thing costs and the Web site you can go to if you want to buy it.

Genius.

Okay... just one more and I'll leave you alone so you can go play!! This is just a casual weekend -sitting around, strumming my guitar (that I still can't play...)

Untitled by bama_girl_84 featuring Monsoon Accessories

A play, a book, some sunshine and a movie: My weekend in review

Wow. You guys were a busy bunch of bloggers this weekend. I went down my blog list, clicking on each new post and somewhere around 32 my Internet Explorer decided to call it quits. You froze my computer! It couldn’t process the overwhelming number of posts that I have to catch up on. I’ll have to try again later.

I trust that you all had a fabulous weekend and a well deserved Mother’s Day (if that applies to you.) Mine was everything I could have hoped for.

Friday night, my friend Kelley and I grabbed some dinner at a local place called CJs. Its one of those cute little neighborhood grilles, right off the town square. Great atmosphere and even better food. Then we headed over to the theater to see the play “Lying in State.” And you know what? I didn’t find it all that risqué. Not that I’m that surprised. Sure, there were some choice four-letter words, references to exotic dancers and one character who was constantly strung out on some form of prescription pills (pain, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety… a combination of them all) But you know what? It was pretty dang funny. Oh, and after the play, I may or may not have consumed a huge, chocolate-dipped waffle cone from Dairy Queen before calling it a night.

Then there was Saturday. Glorious, divine, wonderful Saturday. I slept in until I absolutely could not stand to lie there any longer. Then I grabbed a pitcher of ice water and parked my lazy butt here:


With this:

My hand looks freakishly large there... weird. And it doesn't even look like it's attached to me.

Its no hammock, but it definitely proved to be a comfortable enough retreat. And it would have been perfect, had I not forgotten one important detail. Unlike books, Kindles need to charge. Especially when you read them for prolonged periods of time. Obviously, mine had not been plugged up for quite some time and about five minutes into my relaxing Saturday, my screen went blank. Great.

Lucky for me, I have a stash of books on my bookshelves that I’ve yet to read – so when I went inside to plug up Mr. Kindle, I grabbed this off the shelf:



And I am so glad I did. Like every other Palahniuk book I’ve read, Lullaby is crazy good. I still have a few chapters left to read, but I’m sure there will be some insane twist at the end that will leave me speechless. It’s a story about a culling song that appears in a common book of poems. When read aloud, the song kills anyone who hears it. A journalist who is investigating strange deaths among children comes across it and (through trial and error) discovers that it doesn’t even have to be spoken aloud. With strong enough intent, someone can kill just by thinking the song. I’m not going to tell you anymore. Trust me when I say it’s well worth the read.

Here is where I throw in the disclaimer that I always use when talking about Palahniuk: He’s not for everyone. His style is brash, often vulgar and very twisted. Dark comedy at it’s best. If you prefer a lighter, happier read – look elsewhere.

After a few hours outside, I decided that 92 degrees was a little too warm to lounge comfortably much longer. So, I retreated inside, to the cool bliss of the air conditioner and an afternoon filled with House DVDs. I told you I was going to be a bum this weekend.

Sunday was pretty great, too. Church, followed by an afternoon with my boy. We lounged around awhile, then grabbed some Mexican (and maybe some more Dairy Queen) before going to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I’m not sure that it was as good as the others, but it definitely gave a little more insight into the mind of one of my favorite characters. I’d say it was worth the ticket price. (Not that I even know how much that is…Kevin never lets me pay for anything. I think he thinks I’m poor.)

So there you have it. An incredibly long breakdown of my fantastically lazy weekend. Maybe next weekend will be more exciting... or maybe it will be a carbon copy of this one.

I've been crowned

The fabulous Sally over at Sally’s World has crowned me “Queen of ALLL things!”

Isn’t that spectacular? I get a crown! Just what I’ve always wanted. Thank you Sally! I will try to be a fair and just ruler.

Upon accepting this honor, I have to tell you seven “Awe-summm” things about me:

1. I am scary-good at word searches. I don’t know why. I guess my brain is used to making sense out of a seemingly jumbled mess.



2. I’m a scavenger in the kitchen. I tend to skip recipes and throw together whatever is available. My latest creation was a box of Velveeta shells and cheese, mixed with a can of stewed tomatoes and a can of chicken. It was delicious.



3. I try to speak to everyone or at least throw them a friendly smile. This includes strangers in the grocery store. And I get upset when they don’t smile back



4. I am very forgiving. I tend to look past people’s faults and let go of the past. Sometimes I wind up getting hurt because of it – but that’s just who I am.



5. I’ve grown up A LOT in the last few years. I look at the some of the things I did or said in the past and have a hard time believing that was really me. I know they say you shouldn’t have regrets – you should treat past mistakes as a learning experience – but I’m so glad those times are behind me now.



6. I have an impeccable memory. Let me clarify that. I can recall exact places and conversations like no one’s business – even things that took place years and years ago. I can recite conversations word-for-word. I remember the exact layout of a house I haven’t been in since I was six. The list goes on. However, I have a terrible time remembering little everyday things. Like where I left my keys.



7. I have been blessed with the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for.
   
   Now it’s time for me to pass the crown to another deserving Queen. And I choose:
   
   Kelly at My Voice, My View: Kelly is a wonderfully talented writer. She’s sweet, funny and always puts her family first. So here ya go, Kelly. Wear it with pride!

An island daydream

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: Time for a trip? Where are you headed this summer? Or where would you go if you COULD?

Unfortunately, I don’t have any exciting summer trips planned out (as of yet.)

But that doesn’t stop a girl from dreaming.

In fact, there are several places I’m itching to visit.

Such as:



Ah, yes. Fiji. I figured I should dream big. After all, I’m just over an hour from Florida’s best beaches. If I’m going to dream of a beach vacation, shouldn’t it be to somewhere I don’t see on a regular basis? Yes. I think so. I can almost feel the warm, Fijian sun shining on my beautifully bronzed body (this is a dream…remember?) I can feel the glorious sand between my toes and see all of the little fishies swimming around in the crystal clear water. I hear the palm leaves overhead rustle as a tropical breeze rolls off the cresting waves. I feel the condensation trickle down my ice cold bottle of Corona and hear island music lazily drifting up the beach from a local bar.


*sigh*

If only.

You know, I actually had more destinations in mind, but now I seem fixated on this particular daydream. I can’t stop imagining the calming sound of waves as they break upon the sand. So on that note, I’m retreating to my island fantasy – where, if only for a moment, I’m sitting by the ocean with a cold drink in my hand and a smile on my face.

Weekend plans...or lack thereof

Oh, man. I am having the hardest time getting myself back into a routine. Today is the second day in a row I’ve had to pull my towel dried hair into a ponytail while running out the door. My mind is scattered, my body feels exhausted and I can’t seem to get a handle on either. I try to focus with very little success. I try to sleep but find myself restless. I think I need some “me” time.

And that’s exactly what I plan on having this weekend. I know Sunday is Mother’s Day, but Mama and I have discussed it and I intend on sitting my butt here in Andalusia and catching up on some much needed rest. This will be the first weekend in SEVEN weeks that I’ve been able to stay home and relax. I’ve put over 2,000 miles on my car since I got the oil changed April 3rd. And my house is a mile and a half away from work, so it’s not from commuting.

Friday night, my friend Kelley and I are going to grab some dinner and see a play. And I honestly don’t even know the name of it – I just agreed to go. She said it’s a bit risqué, so I’m wondering what I signed myself up for. Should be interesting. Although, I have to wonder what’s considered risqué in small-town Alabama. Surely we’re not talking about nudity – I don’t see the citizens of Mayberry allowing that one. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve yet to see anyone walking around Wal-Mart that’d I’d give money to see naked. In fact, I’d pay a few of them to wear more clothing – or at least clothing that fits properly.

Anyway…moving on…

I’ve decided that I might not even change out of my pajamas on Saturday. Seriously. I might find a comfy spot on the couch to park my rear end and catch up on some reading. It’s supposed to beautiful here this weekend though – if I only had a hammock. Then I could be lazy outside. And maybe get some much needed sun. I might have to find one by this weekend. I can picture it now… me and my hammock, my trusty Kindle and a cold beverage (or two). Talk about the perfect day.

What about y’all? What’s your idea of a perfect Saturday? Relaxation or something more exciting?

You will be missed...

When I wrote this, I never imagined it would be printed and distributed to visitors in a funeral parlor – to family and friends who lovingly paid their last respects to a man who had a profound influence on their lives. I never imagined the sheer number of people who would read it and tell me how accurately it described their father, grandfather, husband, brother, uncle, friend...

Instead, I hoped that the man for whom it was written would make a miraculous recovery and read it when he returned home from the hospital. Unfortunately it did not work that way.

Mack Harvie Reed - a strong, generous, loving man - passed away April 30 in his ICU hospital bed in Mobile, Alabama.

After much heartbreaking deliberation, the family decided to take him off the ventilator Thursday morning. The doctors had taken away our last glimmer of hope, saying he would more than likely never wake up from his coma. And if he did, the chances of severe brain damage were very high. He’d never be the man we remembered. His quality of life would never be the same.

At 5:30 Thursday evening, after seven hours without breathing assistance, Grandpa was gone. As I tearfully watched him draw his last breath, I tried to find peace in knowing that he was no longer in pain. Still, the sadness was almost overwhelming.

The next few days were filled with family stories – a mixture of tears and laughter as we remembered the life of a wonderful man.

Grandpa had a beautiful military funeral yesterday morning, complete with a twenty-one gun salute. Local Marines presented Grandma with the American flag. As I stood there in the rain, listening to the final notes of Taps, I couldn’t help but wish he was there – if only to see the number of people who showed up to say goodbye.

Although we’ll no longer get to see his face or hear his deep, baritone voice, I know his spirit will live on in the values he instilled and the memories he helped create.

Grandpa – we know you’re in a better place, but we sure will miss you.