I accept cash, checks and money orders...

Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: If I sent you four hundred dollars today what is ONE thing you would spend it on and why? P.S. I want my change.

With the wonderfully warm, beautiful days of summer just around the corner, I can think of one thing in particular that would make my backyard absolutely divine:


What’s that you say? $400 won’t buy me Matthew McConaughey? Not even for a few hours? Well, fine.

I’ll settle for a hammock:


This little piece of pillow-top heaven would make the perfect weekend retreat. I can see myself curled up with my Kindle, soaking up the sun as I read. Or I could put it in the shade and let the warm summer breeze gently rock me into a relaxing, afternoon nap.

And Kat, this comfortable little gem is only $359, so you’ll be getting back a little bit of change, just as you requested. Now, if you’d be so kind as to send me my money.

I’ll be waiting…

I have a new friend...

He’s tall, dark and handsome. He has big, soulful eyes. And he’s oh so lovable as he freely passes out big, wet kisses.

Want to know his name?

Well, so do I. Unfortunately he’s been hanging around my yard for a few days without a collar, so I don’t know what to call him, or who he belongs to.

Yes, my new friend is a dog. A beautiful black lab, to be specific – who showed up out of the blue and doesn’t seem to want to leave. And honestly, I’m okay with that.

He first showed up Sunday afternoon – wagging his tail with a big puppy-dog grin on his face. He played with Toby for awhile, then stood on his hind legs, with his front paws resting on my shoulders and proceeded to lick my face. I doubled over laughing, which only brought me down closer to his level – an open invitation for more puppy love.

A little while later, a little boy rode by on a bike with a yellow lab walking beside him, and my friend ran to join them. I assumed he belonged with them.

But when I went to get Toby from the yard last night, I was nearly knocked over as my new friend happily jumped up to greet me. He tried to follow us into the house, and I sadly told him he had to stay outside. Toby walked from the bedroom to the carport door whining for thirty minutes. He’d only pause long enough to look at me expectantly, as though I’d change my mind and let our new friend in.

He doesn’t look to be more than a year old, and he’s been neutered. As far as I can tell, he’s full-blooded lab, which means someone, somewhere has to be missing him.

When I took Toby out this morning, our friend walked lazily from my back yard, where he apparently spent the entire night. That’s when I noticed how hungry he looked. I began wondering if he’d been fed recently. So, of course I promptly went inside, fetched the biggest bowl I could find and filled it with Toby’s small-breed dog food. I wasn’t sure he’d like it, but he gobbled it up in a few, short minutes. I put some water out for him, too. When I left to come to work, my new friend curled up on the carport floor and watched me drive away. I have a feeling he’ll still be there when I get home.

I guess I need to start looking for his owner. He’s far too sweet and beautiful to not have a home. And if I can’t find his home… well, I have been wanting another dog. In fact, I’ve been wanting a lab. And this one just showed up on my doorstep.

In the meantime, any suggestions on how to handle the situation? I feel like I need to put him in my back yard and shut the gate so he doesn’t get hit by a car. We live near a fairly busy highway and I’d hate for something to happen to him. But I don’t want his owners to start looking for him, see him shut up in my yard and think I'm trying to steal him. They’d understand that I was trying to keep him safe, right?

I guess doggie dilemmas are going around these days, huh Diane?

100 for my 100th

The wonderful Kim, over at The Child, tagged me to share a little list of things about myself. I think she's getting more than she bargained for! Since today is my 100th post (seriously?!) I decided to shoot for 100 interesting random facts. Brace yourself. We could be here for quite some time.


1) I desperately wish I could sing.
2) You don’t want to hear my try.
3) But I am learning to play the guitar.
4) I’m not doing a very good job.
5) I blame my teacher.
6) And the fact that I haven’t had a lesson in three weeks.
7) I haven’t practiced, either.
8) I’ve always wanted to go sky diving.
9) I’m an adrenaline junkie.
10) But I don’t want to bungee jump.
11) I’m afraid the bungee will break.
12) Or be too long and I’ll splat on the ground.
13) Strangely, I have no problem with parachutes.
14) I believe in coffee.
15) And Dr Pepper.
16) And sweet tea.
17) From the neck up, I look like my daddy.
18) Well, except for the long hair and make-up.
19) Neck down, I’m all Mama.
20) I’m not sure how that combination works for me.
21) Me and my ex are taking things slow, but trying to work things out.
22) I guess you could say we’re back together.
23) I snuck that in as nonchalantly as possible.
24) (I really missed him.)
25) When I was little, I had a Cabbage Patch doll named Ravioli.
26) My pasta obsession is still intact.
27) I really want to go to Italy.
28) Especially Tuscany.
29) I’d probably gain 20 pounds.
30) I actually used my treadmill yesterday.
31) Then I got off and ate chips and salsa.
32) That might be counterproductive.
33) My dog is an idiot.
34) But I love him with all my heart.
35) Even when he eats my socks and throws up on my bed.
36) If I ate my socks, I’d probably throw up, too.
37) I talk to strangers at the grocery store.
38) And pretty much everywhere else I go.
39) Basically, I talk all the time.
40) Mama said one of my first words was “French fry”.
41) And I wonder why I’m not skinny.
42) My backyard currently looks like a jungle.
43) There are random flowers weeds growing everywhere.
44) They’re taller than Toby.
45) My neighbors probably hate me.
46) I plan on doing something about it this weekend.
47) And by “I”, I mean “Kevin.”
48) I don’t own any lawn equipment.
49) I thought that was what landlords were for.
50) I just realized I’m only halfway to 100.
51) I don’t think I’ll make it.
52) Let’s see…
53) My favorite movie is Boondock Saints.
54) Don’t watch it if you’re easily offended by violence or bad language.
55) Do watch it if you have a penchant for hot Irish guys.
56) I want to go to Ireland.
57) But not for the guys.
58) The landscapes look incredible.
59) I’m a self-proclaimed nerd.
60) I’m not that smart, I just like to read.
61) I got an Amazon Kindle for Christmas.
62) I love it so much.
63) I can’t believe they killed off Kutner on House this week.
64) I read that Kal Penn, the actor that played Kutner, quit the show to go work at the White House as a public liaison for Asian-Americans.
65) Ha. From House to the White House…
66) Do any of you watch House?
67) It’s pretty much my favorite show.
68) I watch way too much TV.
69) This list is getting ridiculously long.
70) And I’m bored.
71) So I’m quitting now.
72) Oh, I just remembered….
73) Don’t you hate it when people do that?
74) Like when you try to get off the phone, but the other person just keeps “remembering” something else to say?
75) I do that a lot.
76) Refer to number 39.
77) But seriously…
78) I forgot to tell you something.
79) I’m a huge Alabama football fan.
80) But I’ll watch any sport that’s on TV.
81) I’ve never been a girly girl.
82) The only thing I can do with my hair is “up” or “down.”
83) A full face of makeup takes me about five minutes.
84) I haven’t worn a dress in over two years.
85) And that was to my grandparents’ 50th anniversary party.
86) I’m severely clumsy.
87) I run into door frames on a daily basis.
88) I like to claim I have inner-ear problems that throw off my sense of balance.
89) Honestly, I think I’m just a klutz.
90) I once saw a sticker that said, “Don’t follow in my footsteps – I run into walls.”
91) I should have bought it.
92) I also have a habit of falling down stairs.
93) I broke my tailbone that way.
94) The pain pills they gave me made me loopy.
95) While I was on them, I tripped walking up the steps to my porch.
96) My knees hit the concrete and got all scraped up.
97) My head hit a step and I wound up looking like a unicorn (from the huge knot that formed on my forehead.)
98) I took another pain pill and went to sleep.
99) This has been the most random list of junk.
100) But now it’s over! (Aren’t you glad?)

With age comes... crispy skin and a short attention span

Several things have recently become painfully obvious.

First of all (and most literally painful), my skin is not the same as it used to be. I didn’t realize that it changed as you got older. In my mind, I still have the golden tan skin of my childhood and adolescence. The skin that never burned, but instead continued to grow darker and darker all summer long. In fact, check out this picture of me and my old roommate from last spring:


Notice the tan? That’s after being in the sun one or two times – I think it was April.

Now check out a picture from today – one year later:

See the difference? Notice the pasty-white face and the ridiculously red chest? Ouch. This was after being in the sun for two hours on Saturday at my brother’s baseball game. TWO HOURS people. Not all day. Not even half a day. Two stinkin’ hours and I get THIS. What the heck is going on?! I don’t get it!!

Secondly, I have got to get a hold of my inability to focus on simple tasks. This, too, is getting progressively worse with age. It leaves me scatter-brained and daydreaming when I’m supposed to be diligently working. I’ll sit down to write an article and stare at a blank page for ages. I find myself zoning out when people are talking to me – when I finally snap to, I realize I haven’t heard the last several sentences. I lose stuff all the time. I misplace keys or papers. I walk into rooms and forget what I’ve gone in there for. And it’s not just every now and then. It’s ALL the time. I took an online ADD assessment last week and it told me to seek medical help for my strong ADD tendencies. I don’t know if it’s a serious problem, or if I just need to clear my head and get on the ball, but it seems like the harder I try, the worse the problem becomes. It’s starting to be a pretty significant hindrance at work. I feel like I’m constantly behind.

Next on my list of realizations – I’ve got to start actually using the treadmill that sitting in my guest bedroom. My clothes are getting too tight for comfort. Plus, it’s almost summer, and as of right now, this girl is NOT putting on a swimsuit. If I’m going to be red this summer, I need to at least be skinny and red. As of right now, I’d just look like a big ‘ole tomato. Nobody wants to see that.

Also, I need to figure out where I’m going to live in a couple months. My lease will be up the 1st of July and I haven’t decided what to do. Renew and throw away another year’s worth of rent money? Or try to find a house of my very own? I like that idea, but then there’s the issue of repairs (landlords are handy that way) or trying to sell if I eventually decide to move (there are houses on my street that have been for sell since last summer when I moved here.) I don’t know what to do…

But I’ll have to think about it later. Right now I’m going to go try to focus… wish me luck.

Do yourself a favor...

Okay, I know I've made several references to Sister Hazel over the life of this blog - either through song quotes or while raving about my favorite music... but trust me when I say they deserve every kind word ever written.

I have been so impressed with lead singer Ken Block's dedication to their fans. Several weeks ago, he responded to one of my music posts and today he showed me some love on the Sister Hazel message board by linking my blog post from yesterday. How cool is that? Very cool, my friends. Very cool, indeed.

If you've never listened to their music, do yourself a favor and check 'em out. They're kind of an eclectic blend of alternative, folk and southern rock. Ken's voice is refreshingly unique - it will pull you in and make you crave more. I can literally go days without listening to anything but Sister Hazel or Ken's solo album (which is also fantastic, by the way.) And the lyrics... don't get me started on the lyrics - we'd be here all day! Let me just say I know that there's at least one song you can relate to. The words speak timeless truths, offer bits of inspiration and often tell magnificent stories. You know you're a fan when you can find a song lyric to fit nearly every situation. Or when you find yourself saying, "Oh... that reminds me of this Sister Hazel song..."

So, stop putting it off. Start your Sister Hazel education today. Seriously - start here. Then come back and tell me how much you loved it.

P.S. If you live down here in lower Alabama like me, they're going to be performing at Huntingdon College in Montgomery tomorrow night. I won't be able to make it, but you should definitely go support them. I saw them last year in Troy and they were amazing. :)

Spinach, anyone?

"By simple definition I'd be scattered. Oh where do I begin? Well I'm stuck within the mortal framework of having to use words... In some regards I'd use the term eclectic -the merging of experience and different points of view. Well I think, I learn, I listen and I sift my way right through. And I'm always the one with fascination." ---Sister Hazel, Sometimes

I've always loved the idea behind this song. It's like someone has asked you who you are and given you a limited amount of space to answer. How would you do it? Where would you begin? What could you possibly say to give someone who's never met you a vague idea of what you're like?

For instance, I could say:

I'm five feet, three inches of music-loving, book-reading, fierce independence.
I call it like I see it, then worry that I've hurt your feelings.
I'm trusting enough to want to believe you, yet jaded enough to have my doubts.
I hold tight to what I believe, but remain fascinated by new ideas.
I'm a firm believer in a soft couch, a warm blanket and a good book.
I'm irrational, impulsive, impatient, and otherwise imperfect in every way. And I'm okay with that.

But no matter how many ways I try to say it, the chorus of the song says it best:
"Mostly I'm just me! "

Or, to steal a line from my favorite sailor, "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam."

Dyslexia of the mouth and other charming traits

This week's writing assignment from Mama Kat: In what ways are you turning into your mother?

Oh. Dear. Lord. To say that Mama and I had a rocky relationship for the majority of my adolescence would be putting it mildly. We screamed, argued, slammed doors and called names. I was sassy, hard-headed, trying and disrespectful. Plus, she was "like, totally overreacting" about everything, right? I didn't understand why she'd get so mad at me for leaving towels on the floor. Or for letting my laundry pile up for a week before taking it all down to the laundry room. Or why it was such a big deal to leave a glass sitting on the table for hours after I was done with it. I mean, she would eventually pick it up anyway. No biggie.

Had you told me that one day I would be just like her, I probably would've rolled my eyes and said, "Uh, whatever." (I was a charming teenager.) Little did I know...

The first time I heard her words fall from my lips, I nearly passed out. I FINALLY got it. I was living with a slob of a roommate and it was wearing on my patience. It seemed like every time I cleaned the house, she'd come through and mess it up. I'd wash dishes, and she'd leave five dirty ones on the counter with food stuck on them. We had a dishwasher. What was the problem?! She'd leave clean dishes in the dishwasher for DAYS if I didn't unload them. It was driving me mad. One day I snapped. I said, "Do you think that this thing just unloads itself?! NO. I do it! Every time!" Then I froze in terror and had a small panic attack when I realized that, not only did I speak my mother's words, but they came out in the exact same tone of voice that she always used when she was frustrated with me. Whoa! When did that happen?

Since then (after five years of various roommates with various degrees of nastiness), I've really come to understand her years of frustration with me. It's exhausting to spend so much time and energy cleaning, then have someone come through and mess it all up in a matter of minutes.

And it's not just the cleaning thing. Oh, no. Our similarities run much deeper. For instance, I also inherited her totally inappropriate sense of humor, which leaves me giggling uncontrollably when I see someone fall down. And her dyslexia of the mouth that makes me say things like "trow slucks" when I really mean "slow trucks." Oh, or what about the ability to invent all new words, like "expressionful," when I really mean "expressive." Yep. I got that too. The goods just keep coming.

But you know what? I've come to realize that being like Mama isn't such a bad thing. In fact, I'd be pretty proud if someone compared me to her. Know why? Because, despite all of our past bickering, I've discovered that Mama is a pretty cool person. She's strong and funny and completely unafraid to say what she thinks. She stands up for what she thinks is right and does things her own way. And she's not afraid to laugh at herself. I like that.

So all in all, I might be turning into my mom in some ways - but that's okay. Things could be worse. I could still be a moody teenager who rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever."